Australia surprised us. We’d not visited before for a few reasons. Partly because it’s so vast that a couple of weeks holiday couldn’t do it justice, and partly because of the jetlag and long flights. But also, there were no bucket list iconic wonders or experiences that we have felt compelled to see first hand. However, Australia has really surprised us, and there are a lot of reasons to visit.
1. It’s an enormously friendly place. I’d say 99% of Australians we’ve met here, and travelled with previously have been massively welcoming and positive. Everybody talks to you. And everyone has shown us the best sides of their towns and cities; they are proud and grateful for where they live.
2. It’s soooooo familiar. Of all the 60+ countries we’ve visited, it is by far the closest to home. Supermarkets (basically Tesco/ASDA), driving (on the left, same signs), toilets (you can actually flush paper), tap water (you can drink it), food, shopping, humour, music, etc. All like the UK with just a small phase shift here and there.
3. It’s hot. No shit Sherlock. But it really is. The south was a dry heat, and the north humid, but in the month we were in Australia, it never dipped below 20ºc even at night. It takes a couple of weeks to acclimatise – particularly to the humidity, but when you do, it’s amazing.
4. Cheap Sunscreen. It’s the cheapest place we’ve found it in the world. The sun is exceptionally strong here – mainly due to the absence of an ozone layer. You can buy 1 litre tubs of factor 50 sunscreen for about £5.
5. Fearsome Fauna. When most people think of Australia, one of the first things that comes to mind is the venomous/poisonous/deadly animals. From lethal snakes to deadly spiders, sharks, crocodiles, spiny Platypi and the nasty nibble from the Tasmanian Devil, Australia has a lot of things that can do you damage. But nobody we met has been concerned – they give you a bit of a blank look when you raise it, with the exception of a wariness about sharks and swimming in croccy-waters. Very few people are bitten, stung, or chewed by these creatures. More people are killed by horses than by Australia’s notorious beasties. (N.b. The ordered list is: Horse, Cow, Dog, Kangaroo, Bee, Shark, Snake, Croc, Emu, and ‘other’ – including one fella who tripped over a cat).
6. Cash is almost obsolete. The UK is heading this way, but Australia have taken the lead – it’s contactless everywhere. Simples.
7. Tipping. It’s not customary here; you can still tip for good service, but it’s not expected, and this has probably accelerated the rising of the cashless tide. People are paid a fair wage, and the service industry has the friendliness of the USA, without the expectation.
8. Soft elbows. This is a revelation. Australia gives you soft elbows. I kid you not. It’s either down to a) Magic. b) Not sitting at a desk since July, or c) Not wearing anything but t-shirts and shorts for 2 months. Whatever it is (probably magic), it’s a good thing. I like soft elbows. Don’t judge me.
9. Fitness. They like it here. And they’re good at it. In fact the whole place seems geared to it. I lived by a beach for the first 18 years of my life and barely used it (and was not fit). They use it here.
10. Naming conventions. There is a curious mix of etymology in Australia. Place names range from Scottish (Dunkeld, Hamilton, Perth, Grampians), to the Aboriginal-derived Baranagaroo (say it out loud, it pours off the tongue), Coomooloo, or Gnowangerup. And then there’s the straight-up Aussie: Sweet As, She’ll be right (you hear this a lot), Bogan (redneck), and TimTams (which are like Penguin biscuits but done REALLY well).
There were a few oddities too.
1. Summer Jetlag. You get over ordinary jetlag quickly, but seasonal jetlag takes a while. After a couple of months away, it really felt like we were in the middle of summer. The atmosphere, pace, attitude and ambiance of Australia all shifted our clocks forward 6 months. The wrench back to the bleakest part of winter will be challenging.
2. UK Royalty. People seem to be fascinated by our Royals. But not quite with the same nationalistic fervour of some at home. It’s like the eccentric posh family who own the big house in town. Everybody likes talking about them, and they’re generally well enough thought of, but they’re a curiosity; odd but nice.
3. They abbreviate everything here. Ambo = Ambulance. Reno = Renovate. Bizzo = Business. It’s funny and quite endearing. There’s not much they won’t abbrevo – even if it doesn’t save a syllabo.
And then there’s the downsides.
1. It’s feckin massive. It takes days to drive anywhere. The locals don’t consider an 8 hour drive to be much of an issue, but damn, it’s tiring for someone who only drives about once a week, and that’s to the supermarket. The driving sucks.
2. Okay, we were lucky, but the fires are bad. And the sandstorms. And the floods. And the extreme heat. They do weather here.
3. Flies and ants. I let the nasties off the hook above, but I’ll correct that. There has only been one occasion that I’ve been truly angry on this adventure and it was sitting outside the Campervan, trying to have a nice relax, and getting indiscriminately bitten by little bastard ants for No Reason At All. Honestly, I watched one climb up my leg, look at me, then sink it’s jaws into my knee. Pure Ragin. Also, the flies are a real pest.
But overall, Australia was a balm for us. On the back of the culture shock of China, the filth of Nepal, the strange, mystical beauty of Bhutan, the backwaters of Indonesia and the frenetic beach-bumbling around the Philippines, Australia was a soothing few weeks of familiarity and smiles.
Travels with Sklaroffs 